If specific types of challenges tend to “undo” you, or you often feel frustrated, impatient or drained, there may be some gaps in your resilience strategies. Learning and developing the traits of emotionally resilient people is a great way to even out your reactions and consistently take a more balanced approach to life.
They practice the art of care and self-care. They have discovered what their personal needs are and they provide for themselves. They have taken the time to discover and incorporate whatever it is that makes them feel cared for; creating a baseline and individual strategy.
They understand that stressful situations don’t define them. They have relegated circumstances to their rightful place: as short-term conditions that have no power or influence over whom they are in the moment or who they will be when the situation has changed.
They are compassionate. They know that everyone deserves respect, good will and love ― including others who may not be handling situations or circumstances in ways they would prefer. Judgment and condemnation do not contribute to nurturing resilience.
They know life isn’t perfect and they’ve learned to practice acceptance. Instead of resisting what is happening, even if it’s not their preference, they accept circumstances they can’t change and expect that things will get better.
They know when to ask for help. We’re taught to be self-reliant and independent with our problem-solving and much of the time this approach is entirely appropriate. Yet sometimes the best way to the downhill side of a challenge is to enlist the help of friends, family or colleagues. Resilient people have learned discernment in making this choice.
They know when to listen, when it’s time to be supportive, and when to allow space. These are also judgment calls. Holding the awareness that there is a right time and circumstance for each of these strategies is the first step to learning which one is applicable in any given situation.
They have positive supportive circles. Making a conscious choice to interact with people who are willing and able to offer the support they need is vital in building resilience. Negativity and criticism drain resources and impact the ability to put things in perspective.
They know who to go to for honest advice and who’s more likely to add drama to a situation. Loving or caring for someone doesn’t necessarily mean that person will provide the guidance you need. Each person has their own strengths, so taking relevant personality traits into consideration before asking for advice is important.
They are self-aware and often engage in practices that provide self-reflection. The adage of “know thy self” is important in building and living with resilience. It can often make the difference between feeling confidence about the ability to handle adversity and feeling hopeless or overwhelmed.
They are grateful. They often have a gratitude practice that they do daily ― such as keeping a gratitude journal. Gratitude broadens perceptions about life and helps to increase feelings of hope and openness towards new possibilities.
It’s common to have developed several of these traits, yet have little experience or comfort with others on the list. Zero in on which areas you feel can assist you in boosting your reservoir of resilience. You’ll find it’s worth the effort and focus so you can achieve the results you are looking for.